The Great MCU re-watch, Part 1: Iron Man

“I am Iron Man.”

It’s actually a little hard to recollect the time before Marvel Movies came to dominate the theatrical landscape, but it’s only been eight years, less than a decade since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

We take it for granted now that this was always going to work, but it’s worth remembering what a huge gamble a ‘cinematic universe’ was at the time. Marvel had pawned off their best assets -Spider-man, X-men and Fantastic 4- and were left with a galaxy of backbenchers. I mean, Iron Man? Are you kidding me? Thor? Nobody cares about Thor.

But it worked. With Captain America: Civil War coming in out in a few weeks(!), the MCU is 13 movies in and going strong. No, it’s a fucking beast is what is. So it’s worth looking back at the evolution of this apex predator that has so come to dominate the movie food chain. (For proof, look no further than the imitation Universes trying to ape Marvel’s success: DC, Fox, Universal, Sony.)

And I don’t think it’s overstating the case to say that without Robert Downey Jr., you don’t have an MCU. If Marvel and it’s clones bring about the end of cinema as we know, it’s safe to say we can lay the blame at RDJ’s feet, because the man is electricity. Lightning in a bottle, from the first scene he’s in to that bombshell of a last line. Much like Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, Tony Stark brings this movie to life, elevating otherwise mediocre material to something near greatness.

Because for all of it’s many faults, Iron Man is a great movie and it achieves this largely on the strength of it’s cast: I’ve gushed over RDJ already, but it’s worth pointing out that his chemistry with Gwyneth Paltrow feels amazingly lived-in and completely believable. She doesn’t have a lot to do in this movie, but she does more with it than Natalie Portman will a few movies hence – and without the benefit of a quirky sidekick. Jeff Bridges is glorious as he chews the scenery and Shaun Toub brings a strong moral center as Yinsen, the doctor who saves Tony’s life, and inspires him to be a hero. He’s also 50% responsible for this exchange, which I love:

Tony: … they’re gonna kill me and even if they don’t, I’ll be dead in a week.

Yinsen: Then this is a very important week for you, isn’t it?

Terrance Howard as Rhodie is a bit of a sour note, though it’s hard to tell how much of that is simply because he’s recast in subsequent films. Certainly he plays the character as much more of a buffoon than Don Cheadle will, and the contrast is a bit jarring.

I hesitate to point out the other contrast which I found -initially- jarring, if only because it paints me as a shitty, privileged white person. But when Nick Fury showed up in the post-credits scene all like this:

When I was expecting this:

I had to challenge myself, and my assumptions. And I did. And it pleases me to say that my google image search for Nick Fury was all Samuel L. Jackson, as far as the eye can see. I had to modify the search parameters to find the above picture.

Racism is over guys, we did it. And Nick Fury is now a bald and beautiful Black man.

As for the actual movie itself, it’s really good. A tad generic in the way that Marvel Origin Stories can be, but not tedious yet (looking at you, Ant-Man; your time will come). I’m going to give Marvel’s Iron Man 8 Jarvis’s, out of a possible 10 Jarvis’s. I loved it the first time I saw it, and that love endures to this day. And it changed the world, crazy and stupid as that sounds. And it does sound stupid and crazy.

The Incredible Sulk (MCU re-watch, part 2)

Well, that was a mess.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m as big a fan of the Hulk using a cop car for boxing gloves as the next nerd, but something about the second installment of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe just falls a little flat for me. Several somethings; namely the first act of this movie, most of the characters I’m supposed to care about, and the also the second act.

At the same time, The Incredible Hulk isn’t a bad film per say, and as mediocre and play-it-safe as it ultimately is, it was still better than the Ang Lee movie which preceded it, and in this sense it moved the Marvel brand further. There’s not much here to love; nothing even remotely in realm of Robert Downey Jr’s charisma, but seen in the wake of Iron Man, you could be forgiven as a Marvel fan if you were optimistic about where this was all going.

The film runs into trouble fairly quickly; Bruce Banner is in South America, and a point is made to show him learning Portuguese. This means that he has no meaningful interactions with another human being for the first half hour of the film. Instead you get a lot of this:

And this:

And it’s boring. Keep in mind that by this time, Iron Man had shown us Tony Stark at his best and worst, painting a vivid character within the span of a few scenes. The Incredible Hulk paints us a character that is isolated and lonely and painfully dull. It’s a relief on multiple levels when the monster finally shows up and starts smashing stuff. After all, no one ever attributed the word incredible to Bruce Banner.

This leads us into the second act which is tedious where the first is boring. Searching for the cure to his Hulkness, Bruce reunites with Liv Tyler, the ex-girlfriend he beat up in the opening credits. Now, as romantic leads, Edward Norton and Liv Tyler are fairly unconvincing – which is to say that I had no problem believing they were actors pretending to care about what was happening and being well-paid for their efforts. None of the spark of Pepper Potts and Tony Stark to be seen here; these guys just read the lines and cash the cheques. At one point, they have a tear-felt reunion on a bridge in the rain:

It’s just lazy, lazy film-making, and I won’t lie, I spent most of this movie wishing it were over so I could watch Iron Man 2. People hate Iron Man 2, but point an Incredible Hulk Bridge Reunion at their head and I bet they’d change their minds in a hurry. Liv Tyler even wears a white shirt in this scene because of course she fucking does.

Some of this shit is just embarrassing. But what is not embarrassing, what is in fact, awesome, is Tim Roth.

Unlike Bruce Banner, Tim Roth’s Emil Blonsky has an arc. Sort of an ‘ultimate warrior/soldier of fortune’ type, Blonksy becomes obsessed with the Hulk and it’s fascinating to see him destroy his humanity in his quest to be the equal of his nemesis. Compelling, even. Unfortunately, it also amounts to roughly two minutes of screen time, so never mind. Sequel-hungry Marvel was careful to sign Tim Roth for multiple films, but it seems unlikely we’ll ever see him again – although I would have said the same for General Ross and hey, whaddaya know, he’s in the next movie, so who knows? But Marvel, who has struggled to create compelling villains, had a gem with this one.

Unfortunately, when he turns into the Abomination for the films climax, the character loses a lot of his charm. On the bright side, him and the Hulk are now having the contractually obligated computer-generated fight that we demand as fans, so it’s a wash.

The final battle means that the movie’s almost over and I think everyone was happy to have it over and done with.

Especially this guy.

So on the whole, I’m giving the Incredible Hulk a total of 3 out of a possible 7 Smashes. It happened, and people saw it happen, so we might as well learn to live with it.

Live with it, learn from it, and move on.